One thing
That would for sure
Earn me a hate card
(Read about hate cards here)
From my cute 3-year-old son
Was when I had
The audacity
To tell him
That he needed to do something.
He would walk away
Muttering under his breath,
With clenched teeth
And clenched fists,
“You’re not the boss of me.”
And I asked him once,
“Who’s the boss of you then?”
His matter-of-fact reply was,
“Me.
And sometimes my sister.”
What?!
But I literally grew you!
You know I’m your mom, right?
Yes, he did.
A few years later,
I asked him,
“Do you remember when
You would always tell me
That I’m not the boss of you?”
And he said,
“Well, you’re not.”
And knowing the answer,
I laughed
And I asked him again,
“Who’s the boss of you?”
And he got a look on his face
That implied
That the answer was obvious
And he wordlessly
Pointed at himself.
And when I finished laughing
I thought a lot
About what he said.
Because I get it.
If someone tells me
That I need to do something
I have to fight the reflex
To say no.
And then my thought
Is always
Why?
Why should I?
Why will this help me?
What’s in it for you?
And truthfully
I felt the same way he did
About my parents.
But I never actually
Said it out loud
To them.
Which is maybe
Why I found it so funny.
And so
My son and I
Had a long discussion
About it,
Where he taught me
What my role was
As his mom.
And he sweetly told me
About how I may be
An encouraging coach
And mentor.
And I’m allowed to make suggestions,
Always remembering
That he may
Or may not
Incorporate said suggestions.
And I should respect that.
And I should always remember
That ultimately
He will decide what he will do
Or not do.
And also,
My job
Was to fiercely fight
To protect his right
To exercise his own agency.
And I thought a lot
About how
That isn’t much different
From the way God parents me.
Because He really is
An encouraging coach
And mentor.
And He makes suggestions,
Always remembering
That I may
Or may not
Incorporate said suggestions.
And He respects that.
And He always remembers
That ultimately
I will decide what I will do
Or not do.
And also,
He definitely
Fought fiercely
To protect my right
To exercise my own agency
In heaven
And by sending His Son.
And when I realized that
I was totally okay
About not being
My son’s boss.
I’ll leave that to him.
(And sometimes his sister.)
But always to God.
Because I think about
How God would answer
All of my questions:
Why?
Because I love you.
Why should I?
Because I just want you to be happy.
Why will this help me?
Because I can work everything
For your good.
What’s in it for you?
Nothing. I just want to give you
Everything that I have.
And when I remember that
I totally want to hire Him
As my Boss.
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