Once, when I was at
A youth camp,
One of the exercises
Was a trust fall.
The idea was to fall backwards
From standing
Into the arms
Of my team.
And they would catch me
Before I landed
On the ground.
And thankfully they did.
But there was a moment
Before they caught me
That I was sure
That I was about to
Hit the ground.

Trust falls
(And high dives)
Always induce some anxiety
Because it feels
Like it’s taking a little too long –
Longer than I thought it should
To land.
To be caught.

There is always a moment
Of great alarm
On the way down
Just before
I’m caught.
When I’m certain
That I’m parallel to the ground.
And yet no one
Is catching me
Yet.

A moment when
For a split second
I think
“Shouldn’t they have caught me by now?”
And inevitably
Even before I can finish
Asking the question,
They catch me.

Trust.
Fall.
Alarm.
Relief.

So it’s no wonder
That I often think
It’s taking longer
Than I thought it should
For God to catch me.
And sometimes,
For much more than a second,
I find myself thinking
“Shouldn’t He have caught me by now?”

And I have to remember
That He promised He would.
Every time
I fall with faith
Toward Him.
Every time
I fall backwards
Into His arms
Into His love and compassion
He will catch me.

And maybe
In the moment of my relief
Just after my alarm
When He does catch me;
In that moment
Maybe I’ll open my eyes
And slowly realize
That He was actually holding me –
Holding on to me –
Steering and guiding me
The whole way down.
And that I wasn’t even falling
After all.
Because He was there
The whole time.

Just as He held on to Peter
As they walked on water.
And then
What felt like drowning
Was actually a miracle
Because of the One
Who was with him. (1)

So maybe
When I feel like I’m falling,
I’m actually just flying
The whole time.
Because of Jesus.

So I can just trust Him
And try my best
To enjoy the ride.
I’ve heard it said,
Nervousness can feel
Very similar to excitement.
The difference is subtle.

But if the difference is Jesus
Then maybe
When I feel like I’m
Falling
Plummeting
Flailing
Dropping
Spiraling…

Maybe I’m actually
Flying
Gliding
Soaring.

Because of the One
Who is with me.

Trust.
Fall.
Fly.

(1) Matthew 14:30

More about trust falls:

This Is Kingdom

Elder Paul B. Pieper: Trust in the Lord

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