impossible math

I laugh
Every time I remember
Watching TV
And Jon Stewart said:

“[My] psychology degree
is simply that
I was a Chemistry major,
and they kept wanting the
‘correct answer.’
Whereas in Psychology
you basically write
whatever you want,
and chances are you get a B.”

And I felt seen.
He used finger quotes
When he said
“Correct answer”
And I laughed
And turned to my husband
And said,
“See? In math they always
Want the correct answer!”
And he laughed too
Because he got his degree
In Accounting
Of all things.

Don’t get me wrong.
I know math is really important
For some things
Like bank accounts.
And for some people
Like accountants
And math teachers.

But one reason
That I love God
Is because He knows math
And respects it
But then He transcends it
Because He is on
A higher level of math –
Way beyond
Addition and subtraction
Trigonometry
Even calculus and chemistry.
It’s the only explanation
I can come up with for now.
Impossible math
Because it doesn’t add up
The way I think it should.
It always adds up to more.
It always adds up to miracles.
Impossible!

And just like in the movie
The Princess Bride
When Vizzini keeps saying
“Inconceivable!”
With regard to things
That are definitely happening
Right before his eyes
Even though they shouldn’t
And they surpass his understanding.
And finally Inigo says,
“ I do not think it means
what you think it means…”
So it is with God.
Because He makes impossible things
Possible
And real.
And they surpass my understanding.

Example #1:

2+5= 5000, remainder 12
Two fish
And five loaves of bread
Feed 5000 men
Not even including the women and children
With 12 baskets leftover
After every family was full. (1)
It doesn’t add up.
Impossible math.
Yet possible with God.

Example #2:

Elder Karl D. Hirst said:

“If you do feel filled with love
in this season of your life,
please try and hold on to it
as effectively
as a sieve holds water.
Splash it everywhere you go.
One of the miracles
of the divine economy
is that when we try
to share Jesus’s love,
we find ourselves
being filled up.” (2)

So if you have love
Give it away
Give it to God
Give it to others
In fact, give all of it away.
And as you do
You will be filled up
Not emptied.
It makes no sense
To my little, finite, mortal brain.
But I have felt this.

When I give love
To someone
I am filled with love.
God’s love.
And I’m able to give away
Even more than I had at the beginning
Because He adds to mine
Somehow.
He multiplies it
To make it even more.
It really doesn’t add up.
Impossible math.
Yet possible with God.

Example #3:

John was an apostle (3)
And he knew he was the favorite
Of Jesus.
But also, I’m certain
They each were
His favorite.
All 12.
Because I’m also God’s favorite child.
And so are you.
Did you know?

This one is something
I have had a glimpse of
In my own life.
But experiencing something
Doesn’t mean I can explain it.
I have 5 children
And I love each of them
With my whole heart.
Which makes
Each one of them
My very favorite child.
They might be my favorite
For different reasons
Because they are different people
But that doesn’t change the fact
That they are all my favorites.
It doesn’t add up.
Impossible math.
Yet possible with God.

Example #4:

Once upon a time
I was a freshman in college
With a bank account to go with it.
But every time
I got a paycheck,
No matter how small,
I paid 10% of it
In tithing to God
With the faith
That He would bless me and keep me.
Because He promised He would
If I just trusted Him.
And He really did
Bless me and keep me.
Again and again.
There were countless times
When I would count up my money
And I’d sometimes have to choose
Between tithing or groceries
Between tithing or rent
And I still can’t explain it
But all I know
Is that when I paid tithing
There shouldn’t have been enough
For all of my expenses
But there was.
And it didn’t add up.
Impossible math.
Yet possible with God.

And I honestly can’t wait
To take His math class
To learn how He did it.
How He solved
All those impossible math equations:

Barely enough food
+ Jesus
= more than enough food

Giving away love to others
+ Jesus
= having more love

Multiple people
+ Jesus
= multiple favorites

Depleted college bank account
+ Jesus
= more than enough

And even though
I’m not great at math
I still know enough
To see that the
Common Factor
In all the equations
Is Jesus.

Impossible math.
Yet possible with God.