the middle

They say
That there’s a reason for it.
That there’s a purpose
That there’s even virtue.

They say
That there’s growth that happens
In the middle.
In the waiting.
In the dark
Before the dawn’s light.

In the part
Before the finish line.

In the part
Before the chapter ends.

In the part
Before the reasons why
And the lessons learned
Are all a little bit clearer.
The part
Where faith is exercised
And stretched.

I’m not quite sure
How I got here
In the first place.
I don’t recall
The beginning
Of this trial.
It seemed more gradual
Like a frog getting boiled to death.
The water seemed nice
Barely noticeable.
But then someone
Must have turned on the stove.
(Was it me? I wonder).
All I know
Is that at some point,
I realized
I was the frog.

Except I’m not dead yet.
So this must be the middle.
The middle of the story.

And as I think about it,
I hope
And cling to
The prospect
Of light
At the end of this story.
My story.
I hope for
A fate
Better than the frog’s.
The poor, unsuspecting, stupid frog.
Sometimes ignorance
Seems like bliss
To those who are aware.
At least the frog doesn’t realize
What’s happening,
I suppose.

Meanwhile,
I’m very aware
Of the water
And the pot
And how hot it is in here.

But unlike the frog
I remember how
I’ve been promised more:
The Lord’s promise
To rescue
To heal
To fix
To deliver
And to save.
Because of He
Who is called
The Savior.
It’s an appropriate name
For what He does.

He’s saved me before
From my own choices.
And from the choices of others.
And I know
That He’s not afraid
Of a little hot water.
To climb into the pot.
He promised
I wouldn’t need
To go through this alone
If I want Him with me.

So here in the middle
I choose to have faith in Him.
Faith in His power
And in His love for me.
And I wonder:
What method will He use this time?
How is He going
To save me
From this one?
I wonder how this one will end.

That remains to be determined.
Stay tuned.

In the meantime
Known as “the middle,”
I remind myself
Of stories
From my own life
And from others
About the times
That we’ve been rescued
And healed
And fixed
And delivered
And saved
By the One who can:
Even the Savior.

In the middle
I spend my time
Trying to remember
That He said to expect miracles.
I rely on prayer
And priesthood blessings
And faith-filled music
And fill my life with light.
Because darkness cannot remain
Where light exists.
And I cling
To my faith
In His love
And in His word.

I reassure myself
That God has promised
He can turn
Even this situation
Into a reason;
It can serve a purpose
Help me even develop virtue.
That He can turn
This situation
Into something beautiful.
I remember
That there’s growth
And learning
And becoming
That can happen
In the middle.

So I remind myself of this
Even while I long
For the dawn’s light.
For the finish line.
For the chapter’s ending.
I long for the time
When the reasons why
And the lessons learned
Are all a little bit clearer.
And when my faith now
Turns into sure knowledge
That He really did save me.

So during the middle,
My arms and my heart
Are ever outstretched
To the One:
To my Savior.

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