Dear mom-to-be,
Tomorrow you get to meet your baby
The little person
Whose been living inside of you
Stretching
Dancing
Doing somersaults.
Sharing pizza with you.

It’s not always
That you get to know
In advance
This is a day
That will change my life
Forever.
What a gift to know
Right now
As it’s about to happen
That this is
One of those days.

And knowing that
Might bring with it
All of the emotions.
And it’s okay
To feel it all.
To feel the gratitude
And the grief
Of saying goodbye
To the you
That existed
Before the moment
That you became
A mother
To a tiny human.

Because that version of you
Is pretty great.
She’s a beautiful compilation
Of all of the versions
Of you
In your life
Up until now.
The different versions
That got you here.
The You
That learned to laugh
And crawl
And walk
And read
And write
And skip
And dance.
And then learn
About ice cream
And friendships
And heartbreak
And joy
And tadpoles
And about who you are.
Your gifts
Your weaknesses
Your heart.

It’s okay
To feel love and gratitude
For all of the Yous
That got you here.
The Yous
That existed
Up until this point.
It’s okay to feel
Overwhelmed by the emotion of it
That it fills up your heart
Saturates it
And then overflows
Into tears.

It’s also okay
To bring all of those versions
With you
Into this next chapter.
In fact,
Perhaps it’s impossible
To leave them behind
Rather than
Have them join you
On this journey ahead
They might be thrilled
To be reassured
They get to come too.

It’s okay to feel grief
For the life you had
Before your baby arrived
And everything changed –
Your heart
And your life
For ever.
In fact
It might be more strange
If you didn’t grieve it.
It’s a wonderful life
Intentionally curated
With love and devotion
Because everything in it
Was once a dream
A desire
A wish
That came true.

It’s okay
To sometimes
In the future
Look back wistfully
At your life
Before becoming a mom
When you didn’t know yet
What it felt like
To have a piece of your heart
Live outside of you.
When you could go on vacation
And not have a part
Of your heart and soul
Stay with your child.

It’s okay to be afraid
About the unknown
Of what’s going to happen
Tomorrow
When you give birth,
And how much it might hurt
And how hard it might be
And how exactly
He might get here.

It’s okay
To imagine
That it might be
Even better
Than you can currently imagine.

It’s okay
To remember
That maybe
Everything is happening
For you
And for your good
And not happening
To you.

It’s okay
For you
To remind yourself
You can handle
Anything that happens
And be okay.

And it’s okay
And wonder
What “anything” will look like
When you look back
After it has happened.

It’s okay
To remember
That you can look back now
At all the evidence
Of the times
You figured something out
And so you can reassure yourself
Moving forward
That here too,
You will also
Figure out
Moving forward
How to be
The mom
You want to be.

It’s okay
To imagine
When your baby is born
And feel all the feelings.
And simultaneously
Imagine
That years from now
You might grieve
This moment
When you first met
In this lifetime
And
When you could hold him
In this moment of time
In this way.

It’s also okay
When you hear him
Crying for you
In the night,
To go pee first
Before you get him.
Or sometimes
To eat first
Before you feed him.
It’s okay
To take care of yourself
So you can
Take care of him;
So that you are not
Pouring from empty.
And it’s okay
If this is
A lifelong practice
To balance that.
You can do both
And be a good mom.

It’s okay
To be afraid
Of making mistakes
As a mom.
And as a human.

And it’s okay
To decide now
To give yourself grace
As you learn
Because the very nature of learning
Requires the mistakes.
And to give grace
To your baby boy
As he will be learning too.

He will learn too
As you once did
About how to laugh
And crawl
And walk
And read
And write
And skip
And dance.
And then learn
About ice cream
And friendships
And heartbreak
And joy
And tadpoles.
And about who he is:
His gifts
His weaknesses
His heart.

And one day
Maybe not all at once
But maybe at particular points
In his own life
You might tell him
About how you learned:

That it’s okay
To feel all the emotions.
To feel overwhelmed by love.
To bring all of his past selves
And what they learned
Into the next chapter.
To feel grief
For the life he used to have.
To be afraid.
To imagine
It will be even better
Than he can imagine.
That everything is happening
For his good.
That he can handle anything.
That he can figure things out.
That it’s possible to feel
Conflicting emotions
In the same moment.
To take care of himself
So he can take care of others.
To be afraid of making mistakes
And also
How he can give grace
To himself and to others
As they learn.

And if he asks
How you know,
You might tell him
About the times
In your life
When you learned it.

And you might even tell him
About that one time
In your life
When you thought about it
All of it
Right before he was born
And you first met
In this lifetime.

And how
You have even more evidence
Now
About how everything
Is even better
Than okay.